The Denmark Gossip December 15, 2011

Edited by Michael Ryan

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Unrest in Denmark
or

(Drama in Elsinore)

Denmark is a place riddled with problems. People are going crazy—kidnappings are taking place, anger and guilt are always present, murders are occurring with regularity, and death is looming around every street corner. It may sound like a horrible place to some, but for journalists like me, it is a dream! There is always something new to talk about in this city.

A young man by the name of Hamlet seems to be the center of all the drama. This epic tale began when Hamlet’s uncle, Claudius, killed his brother. This tragic event started Hamlet on a downward spiral of depression, which he is still facing. There have also been reports of Hamlet being crazy. Word on the street is that he has been spotted talking to himself late at night, but when I asked him about this incident he swore to me that he was speaking to the ghost of his late father. Crazy? I think yes. Hamlet also told me that the ghost informed him that Claudius was the one who killed his father, which was huge news for Hamlet. Knowing this made Hamlet extremely mad and he stated that he was going to get Claudius. Prior to going a wee bit crazy, Hamlet was in love with a girl named Ophelia, who was the daughter of Polonius. Yes, she WAS the daughter of Polonius. Hamlet’s crazed mindset led to him killing Polonius, which only made things throughout Elsinore much worse. Ophelia, Hamlet’s ex-lover, found out about the news of her father’s death and went a little loopy herself. She became so angry, that she ended up dying by drowning. For the sake of his own safety, Claudius had Hamlet sent to England.

Recently, it was confirmed to me that Hamlet never made it to England. Before he could get there, he was kidnapped by pirates. These pirates had peg legs, eye patches, and yes even hooks. Word has it that Hamlet is currently on his way back to Denmark with the pirates. I have a feeling that something BIG is going to happen upon his return. All of Denmark will just have to wait and see, but The Denmark Gossip will be sure to keep the public informed. Purchase next week’s paper and by then hopefully I will be able to fill you in on the rest of the story.

Until we meet again....

To Be or Not to Be...

To live, or not to live, this is the ever present question:
Is it better to endure the pains of your thoughts
With your dismal fortune wrapped up in them
Or to use weapons against a sea of hardships,
And go against it to end all pains. To die -- is to rest--
Never again; and by resting, is stating that we kill
The heartache, and everyday challenges
That humans are prone to. It's an achievement
To wish for. To die -- is to rest.
To rest -- perhaps means to dream: that is the catch!
So in the rest of death, how can one dream
When they have already departed with life,
We must stop. There's the respect.
That makes a mess of life.
Who would want to deal with the pain and misery of time,
The oppressor's wrong, a confident being's humiliation,
The anguish of rejected love, the law's delay,
The inexperience of officials in general, and the dislike
That patient integrity takes from the unworthy
When he might make his final settlement
With a sharp knife? Who would bear these burdens,
To groan and sweat beneath a discontented life,
But the fear of what follows after death--
The unknown land, from whose borders
No adventurer returns, puzzles the mind,
And makes us carry the problems we have
Rather than drift to others we don't know about?
In this way, a conscience makes cowards of us all,
And in this way the natural beauty of making up your mind
Is hidden with the gray shadow of thinking,
And projects of great substance and importance,
And in this regard, their movement becomes erratic,
And lose the point of action. Wait!
The beautiful Ophelia! Goddess in your eyes
May all my sins be remembered.

I don’t think that I would be too pleased if I found out that my parents hired someone to spy on me, but if they did this is how I would feel:

Really guys, you did this to me
Now I’m self-conscience and want to flee

I look over my shoulder, check behind my back
Worried the spy will come and attack

I thought I could trust you, but obviously not
I can’t break the law without getting caught

I used to run rampant all over the town
But now I feel I’ve been chained down

I like my freedom and privacy too
I wish you felt the same way that I do

I have a shadow even when dark
A small, creepy man who looks ready to bark

I try to lose him by running real fast
But it never works, I always come in last

He hovers around like a shark that smells blood
And thinks he’s a gallant, magnificent stud

I love you both with all of my heart
But this deceitful trick just tears me apart

With practice and patience can you learn to trust
To spy on your son should not be a must


I feel that times have changed significantly since the Hamlet era. For example, it seems to me that a majority of parents and their kids would be able to say that their relationship is much stronger than the relationship between Polonius and his two children. I would hope that most present day parents trust their children and therefore feel no need to hover. On the flip side, I think that the children in either time period would not appreciate their parents sending someone to spy on them. In today’s world parents may not hire someone to follow their kids, but there are gps devices that can be used on cell phones or cars to keep track of a child’s location. We as kids like both our privacy and freedom and sometimes it is nice to get away from your parents for awhile. I also think that as teenagers, it is natural that we want more freedom since most of us will soon be moving away from our parents to live on our own. I believe most teens would be perfectly content to have their parents give them ample money and few rules. Perhaps times haven’t changed quite as much as I thought.

Sunday Hunting

Most Sundays for me are a relaxing affair,
Napping a must—from bed to chair.

However...

During hunting season, in the coolness of fall,
My attitude shifts and the elk they do call.

One day a week my mind clears of all "stuff",
My focus is stalking, it's never enough.

So...

The day begins rather early, a bit before daybreak,
I jump out of bed to go search for some elk steak.

The weather is freezing, yes it seems a bit cold,
I must bundle up, at least that's what I am told.

I go grab my gun and get in the truck,
Ready and willing to see a huge buck.

Then...

When the morning ends, and we all get back home,
I take a long shower and don't use a comb.

Sometimes we’re finished, but usually we're not,
We rest up till later hoping elk will be shot.

Best end to a hunt is of course some good meat,
But if no shots are taken, the day is still sweet.

Finally...

I now settle down with The Amazing Race,
Reflect on the day, how hectic the pace.

Future Sundays will slow as hunting does end,
Filling my day will be a task I must tend.

EXHAUSTION....

According to dictionary.com, the word exhaustion is a noun meaning
1) the act or process of exhausting
2) the state of being exhausted
3) extreme weakness or fatigue
4) the total consumption of something.

The definition that comes closest to what I at times feel is number three. My family tells me my favorite hobby is sleeping. I do enjoy a good nap, and have at times done some crazy things when I was overly tired.

During my freshman year I was trying my hardest to enjoy as many aspects of high school as I possibly could. I was in sports, music, and clubs while trying to keep up on homework too. It seemed as if I never got quite enough sleep (I still feel that way), and was tired much of the time. When football season had ended, but basketball had not begun, I remember the school had an in-service day. My friends wanted me to go play video games, but I decided that the afternoon was perfect for a nap. I got home about 2:30, went downstairs to our rather dark basement, turned on the television, and promptly fell asleep.

I don’t remember my parents coming home, but my mom swears she came downstairs to try and wake me up about 5:00 p.m. She said I wouldn’t budge, so she threw a blanket over me and let me sleep. I think my parents forgot I was downstairs and so did not wake me, but they say they were letting me sleep since I apparently needed the rest. Nevertheless, I awoke about 8:00 p.m., but was sure it was morning. I was almost always to school by 7:30 a.m., so I hurried into the shower hoping I would not be late. I remember I got out of the shower, got dressed and rushed upstairs. Both of my parents were sitting in the living room watching television. They looked up and said, “Well good morning. It’s about time you got up. Why did you take a shower?”

“Am I late? Did you see where I put my backpack?” I asked. It never really dawned on me that my parents would have been late for school too because I was a bit flustered at the time.

All of a sudden they realized I thought it was morning and started laughing. I was mad when I figured out that it was 8:00 p.m. not a.m., and was not a very good sport. I turned around and went back to bed. I didn’t even eat dinner. The next morning I did not even remember the incident until my dad asked me about it. He said if he had realized what I was doing he would have let me go outside to the car.

I have not mistaken the night for morning again, but I have had friends come and wake me up when I have slept in until noon. Hmmm...maybe my family is right and my favorite hobby is sleeping. zzzzzzzzzzz.......

Top Ten Reasons to Enjoy Shakespeare in the Schools

#10 William Shakespeare was a fantastic writer.

#9 The stage fight workshop was fun.

#8 I understood the play much better since I have taken Shakespeare as a class.

#7 We got a break from our regular school day.

#6 The scenery was great.

#5 We actually got to watch one of Shakespeare's plays be performed live.

#4 I got to give an introduction.

#3 Great acting.

# 2 I will now willingly go to Shakespeare in the Park with my Mom.

And the number one reason to enjoy Shakespeare in the Schools is...

#1 Lindi and I learned to stage our own spectacular fight scene!

Every summer my Mom and sister want me to attend at least one Shakespeare in the Park performance with them. I have gone, but never really enjoyed the plays. When I did attend, I usually just watched other people, ate the snacks we brought, and enjoyed being outside. If the play was not set in modern times, I usually did not understand what the actors were saying--or I did not even try to understand. The last few years I have always conveniently found something else to occupy my time when they ask if I want to go. I think that the time our class spent on Othello and now A Midsummer Night's Dream has helped me understand so much more. I enjoyed the performance in our gym and would really like to try a play again this summer. I am sure I will actually enjoy the play--not just the snacks.

COMEDY!!

To me a comedy is something that is funny and makes me laugh, and I especially like to watch funny movies. There are many different types of comedy that are part of the comedy genre. Some of the official types or terms could include: stand-up, slapstick, or parody. Some of the unofficial types or terms could include: clean, stupid, or vulgar. It is really hard for me to choose a favorite type of comedy in a movie, but some that rank in my top choices for being able to make me laugh include Step Brothers, The Hangover, Caddy Shack, and Dumb and Dumber. This is not a complete list of all the movie comedies I like, but just a few that immediately came to mind.

I would consider something good comedy by using one of my favorite tests. If I were watching a movie by myself, and what I was watching managed to make me laugh aloud, I would consider that good comedy. If I do laugh while watching a show or movie, it will most likely make my list of favorite comedies. I really like to laugh!

If you don't have time to watch a funny movie, maybe a joke will make you smile. Read the following and see if you laugh…

Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim.

or….
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Maybe…
William Shakespeare goes into a pub and the bartender yells at him, "You can't come in here, you're Bard!"

Finally…
"Have you read Shakespeare?"
"No. Who wrote it?"

Othello's Jealousy

(Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle)

Othello was a brave, brave man
Who had a generous heart
He married for love and happiness
Not knowing it would fall apart!

Good and evil get all confused
The play makes that quite clear
Death and jealousy join the mix
A true tragedy by Shakespeare!

Poison flows from Iago's mouth
Othello is raging mad
Jealousy pushes him to the max
So his choices get quite bad!

Good and evil get all confused
The play makes that quite clear
Death and jealousy join the mix
A true tragedy by Shakespeare!

Killing is common in this story
The hero kills his wife
Iago murders his friend and spouse
Othello takes his own life!

Good and evil get all confused
The play makes that quite clear
Death and jealousy join the mix
A true tragedy by Shakespeare!

The Great Othello

There once was a black man, Othello
A brave and courageous young fellow

In love he did fall
With a lovely white doll

But their marriage was simply not mellow!

I feel that if Othello were white rather than black, the play would definitely be different. Othello's skin color does have an effect on how others treat him. Even though he is a person of high status, whether or not he was good enough to marry a white woman, Desdemona, soon becomes an issue. Iago, who is white, is the villain of the play. Iago uses extremely racist terms when talking about Othello, so if Othello had been white, the racist terms would not have been used. It is made apparent that Iago is not a fan of blacks which gives him even more incentive to try and hurt Othello in any way he can.

In my opinion if Othello were white, Iago and everyone else for that matter, would have had more respect for him. If he had been white, he would have been like everyone else. He was appreciated by many because of his accomplishments as a general, but the moment he eloped with Desdemona, many became upset.

I believe Iago would have still been awful to Othello, since Iago is simply a rotten person, but the racist remarks would have been eliminated. Perhaps, Othello would not have become so jealous about his wife had he been white because he would have been more confident and their marriage more accepted.

Overall, I think the play would have been different, if Othello had been white. Another question to think about would be, would the play have been different if Iago had been black?

There once was a man named Othello
Who use to be calm and quite mellow

He committed a crime
And we'll see in short time

What's to become of this fellow!

9/11

They thought nothing of it as the planes flew by
Then suddenly everything seemed to die

As the World Trade Center began to fall
The country just came to a sudden stall

The whole world watched in absolute shock
Yet the U.S. held steady, solid as a rock

As our nation grieved and began to cry
We became stronger and we managed to get by

It is ten years later and to many's surprise
The terrorist attacks were not our demise

We are a great country no matter what they say
And we will never forget that one dreadful day

Dear Abby,

Dear Abby,

I know that people who write to you usually don't use real names when they ask for advice, but I feel you will be able to better advise me on my problem if you know who I actually am. My name is Roderigo and I am madly in love with a woman named Desdemona. Unfortunately, Desdemona is already married to another man-Othello. This makes me feel a great sense of jealousy towards Othello. I cannot understand why she would have chosen Othello to marry when she could have had me. I am also friends with Iago who has been trying to help me with the Desdemona situation. I am so madly in love with Desdemona that I even considered committing suicide because I truly feel I cannot live without her! Iago managed to talk me out of killing myself, and instead has said that for a price he will help me win over Desdemona. He wants me to sell my land and belongings so that I have cash available. I am willing to do what he says if it will bring me closer to what I want. Iago has assured me that he can help me be with Desdemona. I really hope this advice works, and although I am skeptical, I am more than willing to accept Iago's plan and I do hope it works. Iago already had me try to stir things up by having me be the one to tell Desdemona's father that she snuck off in the night to marry the Moor.

What do you think? Am I crazy to think that Desdemona will actually leave her husband to be with me? Do you think I should trust Iago to help me convince Desdemona to give up on her marriage to Othello? Please don't tell me to just forget her, because I simply cannot. She is what I think about all the time. Whatever advice you can provide would be appreciated. I will eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,

Roderigo, AKA "Love Sick in Venice"

Journal #1 "The Crash"

I can't exactly remember the last time I laughed so hard that I cried, but it could have quite possibly been when I was camping along the Madison River with a large group of friends. The night we got to our campsite we decided to float the river. Instead of bringing four separate tubes to use to float in we decided to all try and get in one large tube called Big Bertha and attempt to make it down the river. The trouble first started when we all tried to all get in the tube. The four of us who chose to attempt this daring feat were Steve, Payson, Brooke, and myself. Well, our first attempt at piling into the tube was quite the failure. This had us all laughing pretty hard. Attempt two resulted in us flipping the tube. Steve, Payson, and I ended up hitting the water first, soon to be followed by Brooke who landed on top of us. This crash resulted in a huge roar of uncontrollable laughter coming from all of us except for Steve because he was screaming in pain from bashing his knee on a rock. I feel like this was a great experience and it could quite possibly have been the last time I laughed so hard that I cried.